After much deliberation and a couple more appointments with various doctors I think I have made a decision. I am trying not to think of it as a decision between the lesser of two evils, but instead something beautiful. I have a love/hate relationship with technology these days, but I am grateful for what doctors can do. I am looking at this as an amazing opportunity for treatment and the fact that I will have a long, healthy and wonderful life after this is all said and done.
Ultimately my choice has become this: do nothing, or do radiation. Surgery has become this inappropriate and overly complicated form of treatment for my AVM. Because it is deep in my brain, and small, surgery might cause more harm than good.
So, radiation it is. It is technically called Gamma Knife Radio-Surgery. My most recent doctor’s appointment was this past Monday where I was more thoroughly informed of the procedure, which includes literally screwing a box to my skull (kind of like those Christmas tree stands), an MRI and another Angiogram all before going in and getting zapped with a million rays of cobalt radiation. Sounds gruesome, but I have come to terms with the idea.
Risks are what they are. If you think about it, any time something goes into your body that isn’t supposed to be there naturally, risks come with it. When I had my appendectomy, I was at risk of infection to my organs. When I had my angiogram I was at risk for a multitude of other issues. Take it or leave it, everything comes with a risk. Even walking down the damn street…Especially in my neighborhood with that old woman who drives the Mercedes.
That being said, this will all work out in the end. I can’t wait to not have crippling headaches, dizzy spells, and a small nagging fear that my vein might rupture at any random time. To deal with all of that for the rest of my life would be especially exhausting.
Now the fun begins! I hope to get this taken care of in January, and will have many pictures to share of the doctor drilling into my skull (Yay!) I wish everyone a happy holiday season full of good food, good family and peace above all else.