Land of the Free and Enslaved

Oh, I am so dramatic.

Really though, the more I look at how this country works, the more I begin to believe this statement. We are free in many facets of our everyday lives. I wouldn’t change that. What I cannot stand is how strapped down we are with student loans, medical expenses, and the cost of living in general. I am sick of how poorly workers are treated in their companies, and how people never really seem to get a foot up on any of their problems because the big guys just keep smashing them down.  The quality of living for most Americans compared to what our country seemingly represents is atrocious.

I am speaking from some experience, but also from the experience of my co-workers. My debt to income ratio is 9-1. I don’t have credit card debt or a car loan. I simply have student loan debt way past my eyeballs. Now I am afraid of any sudden medical bills, so I call my insurance (I have basic insurance through MN Care…I am grateful) 2-3 times before each appointment to make sure I am covered. I do this in the hopes that I talk to 2-3 different people, just to triple check.

Then there are my co-workers. One specifically, who’s mother is sick. She has to decide between work, or spending time with her mom because we have NO benefits.  People like her cannot properly grieve, or spend quality time with their family, because the stress and grief is going towards worrying about bills that need to be paid. I am trying to get our company to help in some way, so she can have some peace of mind, but I am not very expectant. I told her today I was trying to get upper management to help financially. She started crying, which made me cry. I just don’t want to see her worry. She is such a wonderful person, who has been through A LOT in her life.

With all of this, I am trying to keep a positive attitude, and hope that it might spark some interest in people to help create a fund just for situations such as this one. I like to think that if I were in this situation, someone would help me.

Treat others as you want to be treated.

So, my job…I work in customer service at a theatre in Minneapolis. I take in a lot of peoples’ problems, and have to distance myself far from them. There are some days where I pay no mind to Sally Sosoft who is worried she won’t be satisfied with her seats. Then there are days where I want to scream at the top of my lungs at Ms Ladeeda who is so irate that the company policies don’t suit her needs. She yells at me, tells me it’s my fault, and that she will never be a customer with our company again. In return I just want to say, “Fine. Nobody want’s you here anyway.” But I can’t. I bottle it up, cork it, and throw it away. Those people are like bad wine; they will never get better with age, so you might as well toss them out the window.

I think this is enough of a rant today.

I hope this works out. All of it.

Have a beautiful day ❤


WTF (Why The Face)

If we’re honest, I think we all know what WTF really means. That was pretty much what I was thinking as I sat in the oak covered office, with it’s 1960’s decor and tacky curtains. I was looking for the rotary phone, but found one from 1985, so I felt it was semi-legitimate.  For a state of the art facility, they really seemed to focus more on the decor of the lobby rather than the small offices that most of the patients see more than the guests. And what was with all the fountains and wasting of water? There were miles of marble, sculptures around every corner, paintings donated from rich sick people, and lots of windows. But when you step into the neurology department, you step back in time. The yellowing rubber on the stethoscope made me uncomfortable.

The doctor was on time, which was great, but that was probably the highlight of the visit. As he introduced himself he looked over my charts, and “reminded” me that I had an MRI scheduled that afternoon and then I would meet with Dr. So-and-So the next day at 9am. Excuse me, what?

First of all, I had NO indication I was set up for this extra MRI (insurance, will you cover this?) nor did I have any heads up on the fact that I had another appointment the next day. Maybe this is how hotels in Rochester make their money…last minute reservations.

With this, all I could really say was “shit”. And then I stuttered, explained I had no idea about these appointments and that I couldn’t do them, and then all I could then think of was….”Well what am I talking to you for? What is the point of this meeting?” I felt like reaching over the table to the doctor and wringing is bow-tied neck…but I didn’t. I quickly realized it wasn’t his fault and tried to take the meeting for what it was…a consultation (also known as a screening). He explained to me that normally he meets with patients first to determine the situation, and then they meet with a specialist. Why wasn’t I informed of this normal process earlier?

So, what did I get out of this meeting? Well, I didn’t get the MRI…I know I can’t take any ibuprofen or blood thinners because if I have a bleed I won’t clot, and therefore will have more complications. I now know that my history of epilepsy might be concerning (unrelated to my AVM) and that the noise in my ear has to be something, so Mayo wants to do more tests. More and more tests.

I am sick of being a number, a lab rat, and tossed around like I don’t have a life. I don’t get paid sick days, I don’t have access to lots of money, and I don’t want to be tested anymore. I just want to talk to someone and get some answers.

I asked if my second appointment (which I had to move to March 5th) could be done over the phone, and the doctor said absolutely not. They want me to take the time to drive 3 hours to sit in a room and make sure all pistons are firing at once. Trust me, if I thought for a second that I had some signs of a stroke, I would be going to a hospital in the cities.

As much as I hate the medical industry, I admit I would seek their assistance if I had a problem that I couldn’t fix, but all of this back and forth business is driving me insane. It puts a bad taste in my mouth.

Needless to say the appointment was disappointing. I did, however, get to have lunch with a friend of mine I hadn’t seen in a while, and Jeremy was with me the whole time supporting me through everything. I swear, without him, I would be a lost puppy dog. He keeps me grounded, and for that I love him very much.

So, on March 5th I might head down to Rochester again, but not before calling to clarify exactly what I will be meeting with the doctor about, to make sure there aren’t any hidden MRI’s or appointments.

I am so close to giving up, but I will stick it out and get more answers. I guess I have to dig deeper. I just can’t get over how corrupt the medical industry is…WTF.