This Is What Distraction Is Like…

For the past few weeks I have ferociously been working on a project with everything I have. Kickstarter.com is an online venue where you can raise money for creative endeavors. My goal was to raise money so I could get a printer, scanner and supplies to reproduce some illustrations I had created of curvy women. I had my mug on film, edited a big video and budgeted everything out….But then I had a complete melt-down. What was I thinking!? I didn’t have the space to do this, I didn’t have the TIME, and realized I had been ignoring one important thing in my life that probably needed attention first.

After my last appointment at Mayo, I sort of went dormant. I didn’t think about my brain, or my AVM/AVF. I didn’t want to! So, I conveniently distracted myself with summer plans, job searches, watching Jeremy fly kites, freelance work, and Kickstarter.

I am not putting off Kickstarter indefinitely, but I need this year to take care of myself, and my brain. Oh, and plan a wedding!

So, I called the University of MN to talk about the tests that need to happen next, and get that taken care of. I only left a message, so I am waiting for a response, but I will probably be getting a CT Angiogram in the next few weeks. With that they will be able to determine whether or not I have an Arteriovenous Malformation or an Arteriovenous Fistula. The fistula is on the dura matter, while the malformation is within the brain tissue. Once this has been determined, I will have a better idea of what treatment will be needed. Radiation won’t work as well if it is a Fistula, but a Fistula is also less risky as far as a rupture is concerned, so that is somewhat reassuring.

We’ll see what happens, but for now I need to stay focused. I think I will take up meditation this summer.